This is the second wedding in two years for our family. You would think we have a well-oiled machine. Plug and play. Easy. But the joy of watching my children enter a new stage of life is eclipsed by the grief of saying goodbye to what life has been for us for twenty years. And in the middle of change and the strain of heartache are the endless lists of things to do before the wedding. Decorations, plans, invitations, more plans…I’m in a constant flurry of double checking and making sure. 

Weddings require ridiculous amounts of detail. If I’m not careful, it would be easy to get distracted by all the planning and miss the joy of the celebration. I might walk right by the moments of peace tucked into the busyness of preparation. In seeking perfection for the wedding, I could easily overlook the beauty of a quiet morning spent with family or fail to delight in the snatches of time in the car as we run errands. I know this about myself. And apparently it’s not a new problem.

A Kitchen in Bethany

Martha welcomed Jesus into her home and, as the culture dictated, she was busy preparing a large meal for the Teacher. What she was doing wasn’t wrong. In fact, it was the expectation. Martha wanted everything to be perfect for the famous Rabbi who had chosen to dine with her family. I can imagine Martha swirling around the kitchen, sweat dotting her forehead, wiping her hands on a dishtowel and muttering under her breath about always being the one to do all the work. Glaring at her sister sitting at Jesus’ feet like she belonged there.

I don’t know what happened that made Martha finally lose her cool. Maybe the gravy lumped or the biscuits burned, but she was tired of trying to do everything by herself. “Why won’t you make her help me, Teacher?” 

Jesus said Martha’s name twice. He wasn’t condemning. His words were not meant to hurt or bring shame. Instead, he wanted her to know that he recognized her anxious heart. Martha worried over many things…yet Mary chose a different path. She zeroed in on one thing — the Word of God.

While Martha whirled around too busy to listen, Mary chose the harder thing. She didn’t just cease movement, her mind and body focused on every word the Teacher spoke. By her posture —sitting at the feet of Jesus — Mary placed herself in the role of a disciple. A student of the Word. She listened intently and allowed the truth of Jesus’ words to transform her from the inside out.

As a disciple, Mary’s job was to absorb the teaching of her Master — to not only hear it, but to build her life around it. She leaned in, eager to learn. Her choice wasn’t just countercultural. It was a claim. She belonged at his feet. And Jesus commended her decision. 

Finding Peace

In my modern life, being still seems like a waste of time. There are always things left on my to do list at the end of the day. I never have enough time. But when I stop long enough to sit with my Bible in the stillness of the morning, the spinning slows and I can breathe.

There will be moments in the next few weeks when everything goes quiet. Before the kids wake up in my house one last time — while the sun sits on the horizon. I’ll put away my endless lists and choose the better thing. I’ll sit at his feet and listen close. The tears will still come. But in the stillness, Jesus meets me — and my anxious heart finds peace.